Wednesday, January 2, 2008


Here we are, in yet another new year, hoping to make new starts again. Everybody is busy making resolutions they know they'd like to keep but wouldn't be able to, leading to yet more new year resolutions next year, adding the resolution that they'd keep these resolutions this time...

As you can see, this is the sort of inverse recursion that :

a) Doesn't have an ending.
b) Doesn't accomplish a purpose.

so, I have a two part resolution for 2008, which, by its exquisite design, fixes all the contingencies of the standard newbie new years resolution(s), and it goes as follows :

I, in 2008, resolve to :
  1. Have as much fun as possible.
  2. Not regret anything that happens.
Okay, now that we've gotten my resolutions out of the way, let's head to bollywood, to hear what Mr. Tusshar Kapoor has to say about his resolution. Please be reminded of the fact that I'm not making any of this up. Tussahar Says and I quote

My new-year resolution is to get more fitness-conscious. I want to get as physically fit as I can. And I've promised myself a holiday this year. One more thing. I 've resolved to be me more careful this year in selecting my roles.
Tusshar Kapoor, IMHO, has to be the most worthless filmstar that ever walked this planet, add that to his general state of joblessness and you get an overall character that's a very close contender to the reigning throne of the most worthless human being that ever walked this planet. He's the person who inspires the average Delhi-Born-Open-Schooled-Correspondance-College-Educated-No-Looks-No-Body-No-Talent guy for a serious [:D] career in acting.

"अगर तुषार हीरो बन सकता है, तो मैं क्यों नहीं?"

they all think, and head for mumbai to get their dreams shattered, for the simple reason that they didn't realise की उसके पास बाप है...

But despite of his baap-behen putting their asses on the line, career of li'l tushy is down in the dumps, metaphorically speaking. Ekta didi did everything she could to establish his bro as the original badass in "Shootout". First of all, it's a gangster movie, and gangsters as a rule of thumb are cool. Second, Tushy's Playing Dilip Buwa, the shooter of his time, feared and secretly admired by junta in general. Thirdly, He's got a babe too, when nobody in the gang, and that includes Maya-bhai, has one, he's even shown having one of those over-the-clothes-make-out-sessions with Aarti Chhabria, who is looks-wise one of the top babes of bollywood. Fourthly, Just to make sure that even if junta should start judging relatively, baby-tush is safe, the gang has a guy called "Fattu" who is, well, a "fattu", made fun of by everyone in the gang..

Nothing could go wrong this time, all the girls in India who've watched this movie must start to gather at Jantar Mantar and do a "Do Me Tushaar" poster rally, right?

Result : No Role ever since, despite the movie being a blockbuster.

So, he's been free for the past 6 months, And By free, I mean completely jobless. No Films, No K-Soap Appearances, No Rampwalks (Ha!), No Dance Performances in Random Award Functions, nothing except the one and a half minute dance sequence in Om Shanti Om, accompanied by dad!

And what does he resolve to do in 2008? Take A Holiday, and Get more selective in choosing roles.

I rest my case.